While twitter's 140 character limit seems too limiting when you begin your tweet, more often than not, you are amazed at yourself for achieving what seems impossible or impressive. I have collected a bunch of cool tweets from others that came my way and put them up along with some of my own tweets I consider as my favorites...

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[Excerpts from: http://t.co/u1Ux01aT]

Where Did The Swellings Come From?

One day I noticed a little itchy lump on my arm. I looked harder and noticed a number of these tiny little lumps and bumps all over my upper body. I was mystified and terrified at the same time! Then I realized that these were the result of mosquito bite!

Top Ways To Stop The Bites

Mosquitoes seem to defy all known counter-measures such as smokes, vapors and rechargeable electric bats. Their whine is the most annoying sound in the world which is so unbearable. They creep silently on you when you have your eyeballs fixed on the screen of your PC/laptop, they suck blood so quietly you don't even realize it and they smear blood all over your pure white shirt when you accidentally crush them.

Futile Efforts: Day Time

As soon as you pick up your rechargeable mosquito bat [which is remarkably powerful in getting rid of every unlucky mosquito that comes in it's way], they fly up to the ceiling or hide behind every unreachable nook and corner of the room and wait patiently till you go to sleep. 

Futile Efforts: Night Time

After the day has knocked you down and you are alone with the unknown in sleep, helpless, they pounce on you [not all of them, remember, some of the weaker, kinder ones might go starving I think] and suck all blood they want. They get so bloody fat the next morning when you wake up, they dare you in the face so drunk, they fall on the bed and furniture and create puddles and streaks of blood everywhere you touch unknowingly.

No Entry

Trying to keep the mosquitoes away is really useless. Even if you cover all doors and windows with netting, they are smart enough to wait patiently near the front and back doors as if your doorway is the ticket counter and beat all human beings in entering the room the moment the door is opened. Just can't stop them!

Rain The Rescuer

My only wish is that it rained all the time around where ever I am because I have observed that mosquitoes go missing while it rains [they probably go on cruise vacations during rainfall!]. Not one in sight when it rains!!!

Feed The Lizards Someone

Life has changed a lot since I was a kid. I don't get to see any lizard catch a fly or mosquito these days however hard I look! Back in the 70s and 80s I remember them feasting on insects on walls to their heart's content!

Summary of Techniques To Fight The Mosquitoes

• The SMOKE Technique: This is cheap but has average effect. Even if you buy a mosquito coil the size of the milky way galaxy, they'll still find some mysterious breathing technique that lets them keep on whining!

• The VAPOR/LIQUID Technique: Probably the most effective. A little pricier but the most effective if you could keep your windows and doors closed. Mosquitoes have no chance, they flee or end up dead.

• The BAT Technique: Rechargeable and so a lot more cheaper than other methods but require careful handling to keep them unbroken especially if there are small children around. Noisy but have such a wide hit area not even your hundred-year old great great grandma will miss a mosquito if she took a swing at it! Annoying as the sole method because you can't concentrate on anything useful, can't get anything done! Picking up the bat and running after a mosquito here and a mosquito there makes you distracted, angry and unproductive!

Have You Seen My Jokes Page?

What is life but pain and tears
Read some jokes, relax - cheers!

Check out the jokes page HERE!

Image by Camera Eye via Flickr
A hot sunday afternoon.
You lie face up in your bedroom, looking at nowhere, wondering about life.
Something moves on the ceiling.
A spider, a BIG,HUGE,GIANT spider.
Well, what the hell, you've got things to think about.
Like that job interview that went south last week...
Like that message on the answering machine so totally incomprehensible you decide to complete an online diploma on linguistics and advances in modern phonetic research to see if that would help...
Like that wish to make the clothes in the dryer fold themselves...
BIG,HUGE,GIANT spider on the ceiling, right over the top of your head!
You can hear yourself say "Choo...Choo..Choo..Go away spider, don't fall on my head!".
Spiders don't understand English, you realize, or, it seems to be plagued by it's own worries.
BIG,HUGE,GIANT spider on the ceiling, right on top of your head, this time looking like calculating how many feet to descend, one foot, two feet, three or jump right on your nose.
You move a little here, a little there, hoping to avoid it crashing on your face, but it's still too dangerously close.
You don't want to throw something at it and get the whole thing fall on your face.
Image via WikipediaToo lazy to get up, too scared it would fall any time, the battle continues for a long long time.
Lucky for you. There is an end to the pain.
There is a second spider on the scene.
The first one chases it and both are gone, what a relief!

A week later. Got a new job but can't forget that BIG,HUGE,GIANT SPIDER yet!
 "I saw an octopus on a spiderweb on the way back home !"
Image via Wikipedia"With a diamond stuck on its tentacles too.Ha.Time for you to start wearing glasses..."

Image by P^2 - Paul via Flickr

Need to measure something [your chest size, waist size, neck size, diameters of your lamp shades, wall-clocks, diagonals of laptops, tvs, pc monitors] and have nothing except your laptop?

No worries.

Go to a googled-online-ruler-website.
I used http://www.iruler.net.

Their home page has a colorful 1-foot ruler. Pixel perfect. Great.
If your screen size is not correctly displayed, select it from the pull down menu.
Make sure it is exactly what you'll find on a real 1-foot ruler.

Trip to the local grocery store. Need to eat something sweet, life's just too bitter.

Get that pack of cookies, walk back home and find out that it's really COOKIE MIX and not COOKIES inside that miserable box! But the label did not lie, it's there, just did not see it at the store! [Click on the picture on the left and look at the green arrows]

What's the best course of action?

-Shout 'aaaaaaaaaahhhhh' so loud it scares the neighbor's dog
-Throw the thing away so hard it ends up on the west coast
-Gift it to the not-always-friendly friend or neighbor who hates the practical joke so much he leaves 20 short angry messages because the answering machine would not allow him to leave one long polite message to show his disappointment
-Spend a week contemplating on the ridiculousness of human existence and why life is so cruel to a hungry person!
-Save it in the freezer for another bitter moment next year

Next trip to the local grocery store. Just need to think of yogurt with great esteem  because the label clearly says that it is "CULTURED"!

10.Keep the night lamp on
9.Really really wish for a good night's sleep
8.Set the alarm to wake yourself up and stick to it 
7.Make a list of 3 mistakes you should have avoided today 
6.Make a list of 3 things to better your tomorrow 
5.Keep a picture of spouse etc always close while sleeping 
4.Listen to calm music[Classical etc]
3.Read a good book[Bible etc]
2.Play [exercise of some kind] during the day
1.Pray before sleeping


[The title really is "Tools For A Better Sleep Habit - Strictly for 70+ percentage of success"]